2002 (Side A): Bullet Garden/Chapter 1: The Odd Family is Awkward
Synopsis On a certain day in August 2002, the luxury cruise liner Entrance prepares to depart for Japan from North America's west coast. Among the passengers waiting to board are Firo Prochainezo, his wife Ennis Prochainezo, and Czeslaw Meyer, all of whom are dressed in expensive, fancy dress attire. Czes laughs both at Firo's attempts to sound grandiloquent and his poor ability to pull off a tuxedo, prompting Firo to turn to Ennis for her opinion. The sight of her in a dress takes his breath away instead, though she initially worries that his staring is a bad, rather than good, sign. Upon turning his attention back toward Entrance, Firo recalls a pamphlet he read about the ship and the fanfare surrounding the 'Meeting event' between Entrance and its sister ship Exit—that is, when they pass each other by during their transpacific or transatlantic crossings. He and Ennis are both impressed by the sheer size of the cruise liner before the, but Czes says he was more impressed by the nineteenth century's development of the railroads. Firo teases Czes by mussing his hair, privately reflecting that Czes has been noticeably cheerier since he and Maiza Avaro returned home from their decades-long trip. Before, Czes had always acted like a child; it is only now that he has started cracking jokes about his true age. Maiza had attributed the change to Elmer C. Albatross when Firo asked—Elmer being an Immortal whom Firo has yet to meet. Firo's thoughts turn to the wealthy-looking passengers around them, and how he had intended to travel in his usual suit before Molsa Martillo advised him to buy the tuxedo. The other Martillos had laughed at him just like Czes when he wore it to Alveare as a test run, though Isaac & Miria were at least complimentary. He muses on the Martillos' changes as an organization over the decades and how he will be loyal to them no matter what; then, after realizing he is fretting, chalks up his nerves to the fact that this is his and Ennis' honeymoon. The chapter flashes two weeks back to Alveare, where Isaac and Miria are watching a television special on Marie Antoinette's wedding. Miria asks Isaac what the time limit on a honeymoon is; when Isaac replies that no such thing exists, Miria exclaims that Firo and Ennis are "still good to go." Firo spits out his liquor in shock nearby, and Randy and Pezzo immediately lead the other Martillos in teasing him. Firo reluctantly admits that he and Ennis have never even gone on vacation, and is finally persuaded to consider it when Miria remarks that Ennis closely watches 'things of that nature' whenever they are on television. He proposes the idea to Ennis that night; however, as he is too embarrassed to call it a 'honeymoon', he frames the idea as a 'family vacation' to Japan instead once Czes walks in on the two of them. This, he follows with two excuses: first, that the immortal Denkurō Tōgō is potentially in Japan; and second, he befriended a Japanese photographer earlier that month who has invited Firo to visit him at any time. The next day, Molsa gives Firo three Entrance suite room tickets as a decades-late wedding gift, which Firo later realizes are over ten thousand dollars each. In the present, Firo asks immigration if liquor is available for purchase aboard the ship. The attendant initially assumes he is a minor and chastises him, and then apologizes when Firo shows him his passport; his age, as falsified by Victor Talbot and the FBI, is printed as twenty-five years old. Czes snickers that twenty-five strains plausibility as they board and, as Firo watches Ennis sort out their baggage check-in, says that Firo "pulled quite the stunt" using him as an excuse; that is, when he claimed this is a family vacation rather than his honeymoon. He assures Firo that he will try to give him and Ennis as much alone time as possible. Once on board, Firo drops off their luggage in their suite and flees to the deck, overwhelmed by the decadence of their room. He, Ennis, and Czes watch a crane hoist an enormous animatronic shark onto a platform onto the middle of the deck, and Czes and Ennis discuss the publicity stunt the shark is for. Upon consulting his pamphlet, Firo reads the familiar words Mode Gears Series and Shark Flight. Before he can dig further, he is greeted by Claudia Walken and her younger brother Charon as "Uncle Firo!" Delighted to see them, Firo realizes that the shark must be a prop for the movie they are currently shooting. Claudia asks if he and Ennis are on vacation, to which he replies that Czes is with them as well; however, when he looks for Czes, he finds him by the hull's entrance in the distance – clearly avoiding the Walkens. Firo asks Claudia how her great-grandparents are doing, and Claudia informs him that "Great-Grandfather Felix" is salvaging a Caribbean shipwreck in search of a present for her great-grandmother. A little ways off, several Businessmen recognize Claudia and Charon and are at once excited; as big movie buffs, they know the Walkens as child actress and child stuntman respectively and guess they must be here to promote the latest "The Gear" movie. One of their number is disappointed that Claudia is appearing in another B-movie and wishes she would be more choosy with her roles; in truth, Claudia has appeared in everything from serious dramas to slasher flicks, and is lauded for her sheer skill. While Charon is not in the mainstream spotlight, film enthusiasts around the globe recognize his incredible athletic skill. One of the Businessmen asks if anyone has a camera, seriously considering asking the Walkens for a photograph or autograph, and one of his companions remembers that Illness has one of those newfangled camera cellphones. It is only here that they realize Illness has wandered off. Upon spotting Illness brazenly approaching Claudia, they freeze in place. When Illness greets Claudia's group, Firo turns around and is struck by the girl's black-and-yellow Gothic Lolita dress and parasol—an outfit sartorially at odds with a formal dress setting like Entrance. Her attire, coupled with her sickly skin tone and dark eyeshadow, feels vaguely reminiscent of a vampire. Illness praises the shark as cute, and Claudia, pleased by the compliment, asks if she is a friend of her Uncle Firo. Illness admits that she is not, and that she approached them to ask permission to pet the shark after overhearing they were the shark's 'friends'. She apologizes for not knowing who Claudia is, but Claudia is not offended in the slightest; she has already concluded that, based off Illness' fashionable outfit and praise of Sharkey, that Illness must be a good person. Claudia proceeds to drag Illness over to the shark, leaving Firo to muse that she really is the spitting image of Claire. When Charon explains that 'Sharkey' is the name Claudia gave the shark, Firo advises him that he should speak up more often; out of all the silent-type folks in the family, Charon is probably only second to his great-grandmother Chané. Charon objects that "Mr. Keith" is even more taciturn and, when Firo points out that Keith is fairly talkative on the phone, confidently asserts that the 'telephone' fairy is the one speaking, not Keith. Internally, Firo acknowledges that Charon is actually taking after Keith rather than Chané, given that Charon was left in Keith's care as a young child. As Ennis laughs that the cruise is shaping up to be a lively one, Firo wonders if it was inevitable that their trip would be spent with other people. The ship's speakers broadcast the news that the ship is setting sail, reaching Firo's group on the deck and Czes, long since gone his separate way. As he wanders the ship's hallways, he grouses over his bad luck at running into Claudia and—remembering the terrible incident aboard the Flying Pussyfoot—concludes that he may just have bad luck when it comes to trips in general. Czes is so lost in thought that he accidentally bumps into another passenger—a Spanish man whom Czes immediately identifies as dangerous and likely a member of the criminal underworld. As Czes wonders whether or not to make a run for it, the man picks up on his fear and apologizes for not looking where he was going. He dismisses Czes' hurried apology and disappears into the stairwell leading down to the cheaper suites. Though relieved that the man is gone, Czes cannot help but be reminded of how he had bumped into Jacuzzi Splot on the Flying Pussyfoot—and how their encounter portended the incident to come. Convincing himself that he is nervous over nothing more than a coincidence, he decides to forget his encounter with the man and act as usual. Trivia Cultural References * Marie Antoinette * John Travolta * Major League Baseball Characters in Order of Appearance * Firo Prochainezo * Czeslaw Meyer * Ennis Prochainezo * Claudia Walken * Charon Walken * Illness * Angelo Quotes Category:Light Novel Chapters